Wk 12 - Gap Analysis

 This week learning about Self-Reliance and it's place in a Gap Analysis was interesting. I especially liked hearing from Dr. Yunnus and hearing the difference between Emerson's view of self-reliance and the current accepted term. 

The old-school definition - being independent of social rules - seems very American. But that's also the mentality, I think, that led to a type of toxic behavior. Some call it toxic masculinity, but I would say that anyone can achieve this level of destructive selfishness, one that shows a disregard for any rules or conventions. 

Not to say that conventions are the best thing ever, of course. 

Anyway. I appreciate the clarification on the current meaning of self-reliance as being able to lift yourself out of poverty, be it spiritual, physical, or otherwise. Identifying that the basic cognitions that lead to self reliance is having responsibility which gives action towards self efficacy, leading to productive activity towards a long-term perspective that encourages us to act for both now and the future. These produce prosperity. Being able to assess our assets, behaviors, and cognitions aid in this process. 

My own personal development as regards self-reliance is still in process; something I'm sure most people would say as well. I remember being pregnant with my second child, 70lbs overweight and my husband and I were struggling. I went to my life coach for advice and he introduced me to the concept of the drama triangle. 


During the discussion, we learned that I was playing the victim when it came to food. I expected my husband to be both my rescuer and also considered him my persecutor.  No wonder I felt completely powerless. 
My coach asked me what existed outside the drama triangle and the answer was clear: 
Responsibility. 

I have since learned how to take responsibility for my own personal well being, leading to the belief that I can do things (eat well, manage money wisely, keep a clean house, earn money when needed, complete my college degree!) and make decisions with my future in mind. 
 
The freedom that comes from recognizing my personal assets (not the least of which is my amazing husband!) has led to vastly different behaviors and then cleaning up my cognitions. 

I realized that taking personal responsibility makes me a co-creator of my life.  Co-creator with God.

Maybe I'm not doing as badly as I thought... We are even mostly out of debt!


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